So today I decided to do some research and I came to the conclusion that ;
A) Researching is really hard when you have a 1 year old who tag teams the cat by taking turns crawling under your arm and sitting on the keyboard. Those two make a really good team. One sticking its tail in my face while the other sticks its fingers in my eyes and mouth..
B) What on earth did we do without the internet and google? Seriously every Tom, Dick, Harry and a lady called "sluttysugamumma" has an opinion on giving up sugar.. Although the later didn't really give me any tips on giving up sugar, I did however learn that I should probably delete my browser history after clicking on that one.
C) ... I forgot what C was... because in the middle of writing B, I realised I hadn't heard from my 6 year old in quite some time and silence in my house means sh*t is about to go down. Like the time he cut his fringe, as well as the cats and dogs hair and then proceeded to put all of the clippings in a ziplock bag... Hmmm, not sure what vodoo stuff he had planned to go down on that night but it sure was creepy....... However in this case I found him in his bedroom reading a book. That really doesn't make for an exciting paragraph but it makes for a happy mum. Sugar for everyone!!!!!!!
So in my research I found a questionnaire to complete about giving up sugar. It basically determines if you are going to end up in sugar rehab or not.
The first questions was "How Long Have You Been Consuming Sugar?"
My earliest memory of sugar, would be when I was a foetus enjoying that second hand coke my mum consumed. For the record I'm talking about the soft drink not the drug. My Mum's a Saint not a Columbian Drug Lord. I also recall that by the age of 3 I had mastered the art of dodging the creaky floor boards to go undetected in my mission to get to my Pops lolly jar. (I couldn't count, but I was like the "Rainman" of floorboard maths..) Then there was that time I bought a fairy floss maker just so i could eat it at home... Oh and that time I ordered a 3kg jar of nutella (that may have been last month)....
But in all seriousness (and the above was me being serious for the record...) I have indulged and am still indulging in sugar. Its been a lifelong commitment. So on a scale of 1 -10 I scored a 10.
The second question was "What Is Your Daily Consumption?"
I did a sugar inventory when I read "That Sugar Book" by Damon Gateau. And once again I scored really highly. Lets say a 9. Man Its hard being such a high achiever. I really feel for my brother having to live up to these high standards.
The third question was "Whats Your Personality Type?"
This looked at your emotional and mental strength. They say some people cope extremely well due to mental toughness when giving up sugar, whereas other people attach their emotions and anxiety to the process and can't cope. I credit myself on being tough, especially when other people find things hard, I like to be all "pfft i love it", even when I actually hate it and am dying on the inside. Judging by my scores on the above and my personality type, there is quite a large chance you will soon be seeing my face appearing on the front page of the local paper with the headline "SUGAR ADDICT BEATS UP CHILD FOR HIS CHIKO BABY".
As I continued reading, I stumbled across what I shall refer to as the "Turn back while you still can" page. A whole page dedicated to those loveable and joyous "Symptoms of Sugar Withdrawl". They do mention that each person is different and everyone will experience these symptoms on different levels and different amounts. That this "detox" of sugar from your system could last a day to a month and beyond! Therefore I am thinking it might be wise for me to consult with a solicitor and make up some contract for my family to sign, that will warrant me not responsible for my actions during this process. Perhaps it would be better for everyone if I just commence this detox on an island in Fiji, or maybe in Las Vegas... Its the sacrifice I'm willing to make.
So what are these glorious symptoms you may be thinking??
- Anger: If you quit cold turkey, your mood may dip and you may notice that you are more angry and irritable than usual. The anger should not last more than a couple weeks, but may be difficult to cope with if it was unexpected.
So i'm going to go all Hulk on those around me. My husband will be so excited to hear this. There is nothing he loves more then when I get ANGRY and start yelling at things like the fridge for beeping loudly and the dog for staring at me and him for breathing...
- Anxiety: Various individuals have reported feelings of anxiety when they drop sugar from their diets. It is known that sugar can have an influence on dopamine levels and activity – which could be the culprit for these feelings. Certain individuals are more sensitive than others in regard to experiencing anxiety upon discontinuation.
I've never had anxiety before and was kinda hoping to keep it that way.
- Appetite changes: Eating sugar can lead some people to experience increased cravings for carbohydrates. Additionally when you stop consuming sugar, you may notice that your appetite experiences some degree of fluctuation. Initially you may eat more or less than usual, but it should balance out.
Awesome, so I'm quitting sugar to get healthy and hopefully lose weight and knowing my luck, my husband will come out to the kitchen at 3am to find me cowering in the corner ripping apart a loaf of bread with my teeth. Beefcake was not the look I was hoping for!
- Cravings: The most obvious effect when you stop sugar is that you’re going to crave it. The cravings for sugar may be intense and difficult to overcome. If you stay the course and stay self-disciplined, you will eventually reach a point where these cravings subside. It may help to remove sugar substances from your house and/or keep them out of sight so that you don’t fall victim to the cravings.
This is my biggie! This is the one I know will hit me the hardest. I was thinking I could go all DaVinci Code and get a whip covered in metal barbs and everytime I have an impure sugar thought whip myself with it.. but thats too much effort and whips are so last season.
- Depression: People can experience a crash in mood when they first come off of sugar. This dip in mood is typically not very extreme, but can feel like a low grade depression. Eventually your mood should bounce back and stabilize.
Oh I already know Im going to be sitting in a dark room, tears streaming down my face staring at all the chocolate and sugar laden treats posted to instagram. I promise to only wear black for the first week and mourn the loss of my first true love.
- Dizziness: In more extreme cases of withdrawal, individuals have reported feeling dizzy when they stop consuming sugar. Most people will not feel “dizzy” when they stop including sugar in their diets, but more sensitive people can.
Great.. well I guess if I cant drink alcohol for the next 8 weeks, this will be the closest I can get to that drunken state I always find myself in.
- Fatigue: Sugar can provide some people with short-term boosts in energy. When a person quits including sugar in their diet, it is possible to experience some general fatigue and lethargy during the first couple weeks of withdrawal. Over the long term, a person should notice that normal energy levels return.
Pfft I have a 1 year old and a 6 year old who suffers night terrors... Fatigue and I are besties. We got each others back. Sugar wont be claiming credit to my fatigue.
- Flu-like: In some cases, people actually experience a severe reaction to cutting sugar from their diet that results in very low-grade flu-like symptoms. If you have this severe of a reaction, it should subside within a few days. Most people will not experience this particular symptom when they cut sugar, but everyone is affected differently.
So i'm picturing myself ringing up work going, "cough, splutter, yeh I can't come in today, Ive got the sugar flu... no seriously I have a sugar flu....
- Headaches: Initially some people experience headaches when they remove sugar from their diet. These headaches can be a result of tension and/or the changes you are going through by detoxifying your body from sugar.
Headaches! This list just keeps on getting better and better!!
- Insomnia: Dropping sugar from your diet may temporarily result in changes in sleep patterns and arousal. You may notice that you are unable to fall asleep at a proper time because you feel anxious or your arousal has changed; this will eventually go away. Consider taking melatonin or using some sort of relaxation exercise before bed if it’s a big problem.
I have a little problem with the term arousal and sleep being used in the same sentence... sugar you dirty little bastard.
- Irritability: During the acute phase of cutting sugar from your diet, you may become snappy as a result of not having the sugar that you crave. Sugar can influence dopamine, a neurotransmitter responsible for pleasure in the brain. When we are no longer getting the same stimulation, we may become irritable.
This could be a positive?!? I always need an excuse to blame being a bitch on.. Thank you sugar, thank you!
- Mood swings: It is fairly common to experience minor mood swings when you initially cut sugar from your diet. The mood swings may consist of some minor depression, anxiety, and/or other negative feelings. Eventually your moods will stabilize without the influence of sugar, but it may take a short while for your brain to adjust.
My husband is going to be hitting the jackpot over the next 8 weeks or as long as it takes to get this detox period over. He is going to be begging for overtime by the sound of it!
- Shakes: In some cases, people can actually shake when they drastically cut their sugar consumption. These shakes are usually a result of cold turkey withdrawal, but are typically not too severe; they will eventually subside. This is actually a fairly common symptom among people who stop consuming sugar that were previously consuming high amounts.
Oh wow! umm maybe this might help me when I'm nursing the one year old and trying to rock her to sleep.... Seriously sugar?
- Weight changes: Most people notice that they lose weight when they drop sugar consumption. Weight loss is generally due to the fact that people stop eating unhealthy foods and drinking beverages that are sugar-filled.
Lose weight!! Oh Dam, thats the last thing I was wanting to happen!!! How could you sugar? How could you do this to me... Oh thats right, this is a good thing.. Well to me it is, as I'm blaming sugar for the last 5kg I've gained!
I also loved reading all the comments at the bottom of the article. Especially the comment one reader wrote about how they ended up breaking up with their partner over giving up sugar. There was also the one where the guy had all of the above symptoms for 3 weeks and was hospitalised.
So many amazing things to look forward to..
And with that in mind I am off to the movies to consume the recommended weekly consumption of sugar in one frozen drink. Only 4 days to go so I best be making the most of it!