My jeans were always too big in the legs if they fitted my waist, or just right on the legs but there was no way in hell the zip was going up without risking taking out someones eyeball when that baby exploded from the pressure. Every Winter I would scour the shops in the hope that something had changed or a new style had come out. I did find a pair that looked "ok" on me but they were still pretty tight on the belly and there was a bit of space around my calves but they didn't look unusual. They were a size 12 and in a series of unfortunate events, that led me to want to drop kick the person responsible… they got given to Vinnies with all my good winter clothes… (but thats a story for another day!!)
Yesterday in my post holiday state feeling bloated and crap I decided to go and try my luck with some long pants because there is a cold snap forecasted and my shorts weren't going to cut it! I found a pair of skinnny leg jeans that were a darker denim and a pair that were a really nice colour that would look great mixed with nice dress shirts. The dark denim ones would be my "mum" ones. You know the ones that you wear when in the vicinity of the children because we all know someone is going to wipe their face on your leg as they walk past or drop food into your lap as you feed them. I took them into the change room and they were big all over. Waist and Legs. This had never happened before, so I got a little dizzy and went back and got a size 10. I knew there is no way these would fit me but Shut the Front Gate!! They did!! They were still a little big in the legs but not so big that it was hugely noticeable. The ten was comfortable on my waist. No digging into my skin creating a muffin top, truth be told they were actually a little big!! I'm not joking but I actually did what I like to call "The Happy Shopping Dance". Its where I start doing my booty shake dance mixed with different poses in front of the mirror. The 7 year old was in fits of laughter and started joining me dance in front of the mirror (no where near as good as me for the record) The 1 year old just rolled her eyes and pretended she was not with us… I could not believe what I was seeing!! So I bought them both!! Same style, same brand, just different colours!!
When I got home I tried them on and felt motivated that if I got my ass into gear and did some exercise, I might, just might be able to squeeze my guts into a size 8… Pfft who are we kidding but let me have that one moment in time to dream.
I decided to wear the jeans to the 1 year olds doctors appointment (oh surprise, surprise someone is sick again). As I was about to walk out, the 7 year old told me I had a sticker on my ass. It was the sticker with the size on it… I was like " Yeh I know, I'm leaving this sticker on here forever, I'm going to own this size and strut the shit out of it".. Then I realised what a complete wank*r I would look like and I peeled it off. Not before taking a photo of this special moment first (move over photos of the kids.. we have a new number 1 in town). Quitting sugar has slowly started to reduce my muffin top!! That tastes so much better than any sugar laden treat ever would , let me give you that tip!
I also whipped up a Winter Warmer Bread and Butter Pudding today.
Unfortunately due to me taking part in Dry Dextrose July I couldn't consume any… but the fact the 6 year old went back for 3RDS!!!! Means it must have been pretty dam good.
I will post the recipe in the Big Mum Version Of Recipes or you can check it out instantly on my Facebook page
Happy Friday Y'all!!