That would be me.
I decided to take a break from the internet and blogging world for the last month and a bit and I’m sorry.
I had so much stuff going on, that blogging about my sugar free adventures, seemed to be the least of my concerns but I did think about it every bloody day.
Unfortunately my Nanna passed away and we were lucky enough to get to spend time with her before this happened. In the weeks leading up to her passing we made sure we let her know how much she was loved and she did the same.
Life can be a real bitch sometimes. Yes she was “old” and had lived her life but it is still hard to let go. It was also my last Grandmother, so it hurt that little bit more.
There was also another reason why I hadn’t been blogging . A reason that Im ashamed to even type.
You see, I decided that my emotions should call the shots and this led to binge eating of the sugar kind. Yes that means I ate a jar of nutella. Yes that means I went to Max Brenner and had a chocolate, cornflake, marshmallow and crunchy carmel pizza (it was actually good in a what the feck kinda way)… and YES I felt like a complete failure over the whole thing but my willpower and care factor was at a big 0.
You know when you have that constant sad feeling in the pit of your stomach and you just can’t seem to shake it, well that was me for the last month and a bit.
I was moody, sad and pretty much having fight club with the husband, without the punching but with the arguing and pouting.
I am 100 percent aware that eating sugar was not going to make me feel better or solve my problems but for some reason it just helped.
In the last month and a half I have also barely been home. I wasn’t cooking my sugar free snacks etc so failure to prepare meant I knew I was going to fail. Dinners were on the run and my “couldn’t give a donkeys left testicle" attitude, was in full force”.
The funny thing was that the kids never jumped on board my binge train. When I would buy chocolate they weren't eating it and this was a choice made by them. They may have had one or two max, but compared to my pouring the maltesers directly into my mouth instead of my hand method... they were unbelievable.
I also took the kids away on a week holiday to see my family in NSW. This led to holiday food and holiday take aways and more sweets consumed then I care to admit. However this was the highlight of the last month and a bit. I have never felt more blessed and more in love with my kids…except when the 2 year old vomited in the car, 10 minutes in to a 10 hour trip.. the love was kinda lacking then.
They were amazing for me and made me feel like super mum. I told the husband I could easily handle another 2 kids… he politely told me to go get ......
I promised the 8 year old (wow that is weird typing 8 instead of 7) that I would not be on my phone during our holiday or even take the laptop. No work, no Facebook stalking and no pretending to be a dog on snap chat. So updating my blog was not an option.
The good news out of me destroying myself for the last month and a bit, is that my determination to get my sh*t together is the highest it has ever been since day 1 of this journey. I am proud to say that I have now been 1 week sugar free and back at bootcamp.
I signed up for a 12 week challenge with Griffin Personal Training and seriously the best decision ever. I had my weigh in today and if the scales were correct (i made her weigh me twice) I may have just dropped 5 kg in 1 week… WTF
I think 2kg of this is water weight.
I have trained really hard and stuck to the first week detox, so I know its deserved but I didn’t think the number would be so high. No doubt big numbers in the first week means small numbers to follow, but the fact I did not give up this week was a credit to me. ESPECIALLY when someone dropped around a whole box of Krispy Kreme donuts to cheer me up after the funeral. I stared at them for a good 20 minutes and then gave them to the neighbourhood kids. I strangely told them they weren’t poisoned because I felt like walking up the laneway handing out donuts to kids riding bikes was very creepy. Saying they weren’t poisoned is apparently even creepier.
I text my husband straight after my weigh in and my husband being the great support he is sent me this :
Yes as well as chocolate I also became a KFC addict in the last month plus..
Thank you for the google search info about KFC….
Stop judging me!
I like how apparently I have been "starving" when I have eaten more consistently and more actual meals then I have in the last 2 months.
Getting up at 4:30am to exercise seems like the devils d*ck, but its over for the day and I can’t make the excuse that things have come up with the kids and with life, because I would normally be asleep at that time (oh sleep how i miss you, you glorious bastard).
So that is where I have been but I am back.
I have some new recipes that I will be cooking during my challenge, that I can hopefully share with you and I am so excited to see where I end up at the end of the 12 weeks.
I have also been stalking so many sites and also finding bulk recipes that you might like to try.
New motivation = new me
Happy Saturday Night People.