So here I was having to go to the bloody Telstra Shop, when I had only just celebrated the day before how I didn't have to go to the shops again, due to finishing all my Christmas shopping.
It took us 20 minutes to get a park. 20 minutes of the 7 year old screaming THERES ONE!! No thats a disabled park... THERES ONE! No thats a loading zone…. THERES ONE! No thats the same disabled park from before! THERES ONE! No thats a trolley bay! THERES ONE!! No there is a car parked in that one.. AND WHY ARE YOU SHOUTING !!!!
The 2 year old also decided to add to the noise by randomly yelling out "Jingle Bells HEY!!! because she felt the need to contribute to all the yelling. Finally after stalking a shopper like a cheeta stalking a gazelle, I tracked down a park.
Once we got into the store it was mayhem but that was ok with me because we just needed to visit the phone shop. Once we got to the phone shop, we were told our name would be put in a queue and to come back in an hour. Sweet mother of christmas shopping, I now had an hour to walk the shops with the crowds. Luckily the kids were in good spirits and were happy to window shop and even allowed me to try on a couple of things without breaking into fight club in the dressing room. My Christmas spirit was rising and I felt so happy to be blessed with these awesome kids who were giggling and laughing dancing in front of the mirror. When I went to pay for my dress, the lady commented how nice it was to hear children giggling coming out of the dressing room, to which I replied "must be a nice change from all the crying and cursing of women not being able to fit into the clothes they are trying on". Awkard silence….
Finally we got back to the phone shop and waited for another 30min to be seen. This was the start of my Christmas spirit being turned into "someone is going to get a fly kick to the head in a minute spirit." The 2 year old found a glucose lollypop in my bag and started eating it. The 7 year old wanted one but there was only one in my bag (Which was actually mine). So began the first argument. The 7 year old asked the 2 year old for a lick and the 2 year old pushed him in the face and said "NO". The 7 year old yelled at her for being selfish which caused the 2 year old to cry the song of her people really really loudly for the whole shop to hear.
Long story short but it took me 2 hours to get a new phone and contract drawn up. In those 2 hours my kids were "THOSE KIDS" . They were the kids running a farking-muck in the shops. They started playing tiggy, screaming and laughing around the shop. I had to stop the shop assistant mid spiel to go and tell them to stop playing tiggy. Then there were the jumping competitions and I knew things were getting serious when the shoes came off them both. The tiggy game started up again and ended in the 2 year old was dragging the 7 year old by the arm across the floor to laughter and squeals. No matter how many times I told them to settle down and not run, they just continued to do it. The final straw was when they started dancing which led to someone standing on someones foot and a pushing fight broke out. I was mortified and embarrassed and my death stares were doing nothing and it seemed the moment I turned my back on them, they were back at it. I finally reached snapping point and told them that I would be taking them both up to Santa when we leave, to find out if they were now on the bad list for this disgusting behaviour. The 7 year old started begging for forgiveness with tears welling up in his eyes and the 2 year old started freaking out at the mention of Santa and was trying to scale up me at an impressive rate.
When we finally left the shops to go home, we walked past where Santa had his workshop set up and much to the relief of the 7 year old he wasn't there.
On the drive home I felt a sense of relief coming over me and couldn't wait to get home. Up ahead unfortunately a car had rear ended another and the police had cut off one lane, so we were going along at a snails pace. As we crawled along a blue car decided to speed up the closed lane and get to where the police were and then indicate to merge. No one was letting her in and as we got closer, I could see the police officer telling off the driver for using the lane in the first place. As we approached the female passenger decided to give me the finger and drop what I'm pretty sure was an f-bomb at me, for not giving her space to merge in. So out of the other 15 cars that didn't let her in, I was the one she was going to give lip too. I wasn't even in a position to let her merge when she started going off at me. I was very close to not letting her in out of spite but decided that with the kids in the car, that I should just let her in.
When we got to the lights we pulled up next to each other and she had her window down. So I wound my window down and said " You must feel pretty bloody good swearing and giving the finger to a car with children in it". She then yelled out about 10 f bombs with a couple of C bombs in there… I would like to say that I wound up the window and drove off, I would like to say that I was mature and level headed, BUT…….
I did eventually find my Christmas spirit when we went looking at Christmas lights that night with the fam bam. The 7 year old had made up a sign to hold out the window saying how much he loved the Christmas lights and would hold it up at every opportunity. I was so proud of how without even being prompted, if there were people outside their house, he would yell out MERRY CHRISTMAS and proceed to critique their light display (with positive comments.. thank God!)
My favourite moment was when someone in a house that was not decorated had left their sprinkler on and it smashed through the window into the 7 year olds face… Pretty sure this was a planned move by the owner… Well played Sir, well played.
Anyway the husband is giving me the stink eye for being on the computer, when I should be getting everything organised for tomorrow. I need to hit up the grocery store to get some items for our Christmas Eve party and begin prepping all the food so it is not a mad rush. He on the other hand is going to be putting together a swing set and a trampoline. I would offer to help but my instruction deciphering is as good as my ability to speak fluent Chinese…
I'm linking The I QUIT SUGAR website, because they have quite a few FREE Christmas recipes on there at the moment. So have a looksy!!
Happy Christmas Eve Eve