I haven't disappeared off the face of the planet, even though at times this week I kinda wish I could have. Simply, I have just been flat out with a little thing called life.
I have sat down three times in the last fortnight to blog, but only got as far as sitting down before one of the following things happened (this is 100% legit too)
- The 2 year old decided to cover herself from head to toe in nappy rash cream. Yep thats what happens when ones leaves the container of sudocream on the bed
- The 7 year old decided to make himself a milkshake, but had trouble getting the seal off the new 3L milk container and somehow in the process of ripping it off, managed to catapult it into the wall and covered the kitchen in 3L of milk
- The puppy decided to do a gigantic turd on the 7 year olds new Woolworths Collector Card folder and this was pretty much on par with the end of the world in the 7 year olds eyes.
I just decided it was easier to stay away from the computer, then to tempt the wrath of the Gods. There is only so much milk, sudocream and dog shit one can deal with in a week.
My husband has also been away for work and that means I pretty much am spending all my energy and time on keeping myself and the two kids alive. I don't know how single mums and dads do this gig full time, but I bloody salute you!!
This week I have basically been playing Ref to the kids. The 2 year old has come of age, where she basically has declared every item in the house as "hers". In being "her" property, no one else is allowed to touch it without meeting the brunt of an angry bossy little turd of a child. The 7year old is of an age where he feels he needs to police all the wrongs in the house. So obviously the remote does not belong to the 2 year old and over his dead body will he allow these shenanigans to continue. So he tries to lecture the 2 year old about sharing and how it is not hers and this in turn leads to screaming, crying, right hooks being thrown, more crying, someone lying on the ground banging their fists and screaming (me) and finally when it has been sorted out, we move onto the next thing to fight over. Its like groundhog day.
I have also been flat out with work and sport and trying to find the balance of giving each child the one on one attention they deserve. Especially the biggest ugliest child of the family (the husband). This means that writing on my blog, kind of gets pushed to the back.
On our trip to get groceries this week, the 7 year old picked up a turkish delight chocolate and said to me "mum, do you even remember how these tasted? I remember them being so yummy!"
I asked him if he wanted me to get him one (i wasn't going to ) and he said "no thats ok, I would rather a magazine then a chocolate anyway."
The 7 year old has never been the biggest sweet fiend, so this isn't a huge surprise to me, but it did get me thinking"hmm, what does a bloody turkish delight taste like anyway??" So I chucked one in the trolley… naughty!naughty!
When I got home I put it straight into the fridge. I had a major case of the guilts and was questioning why the hell I even bought the bloody thing. Fast forward to 2 hours later after another epic fight over the 2 year old not letting the 7 year old look at a page in a Peppa Pig book, that the 7 year old for some reason really really needed to be able to see… I grabbed the chocolate and had a bite. Just as I put it back in the fridge, the husband got home. The first thing he says is "what are you eating". I felt like I had just been caught cheating on him. I didnt know what to say. He could see the look of surprise, guilt and horror on my face and went to the fridge.
"Are you eating a chocolate??? How can you eat a chocolate if you aren't eating sugar?? You little sh*thead!!"
I then did what I do, when I already feel guilty in myself and snapped at him and told him that instead of eating the rest of this chocolate I will shove it where the sun don't shine!
I then tried to convince him (even though I was more so trying to convince myself) that I just wanted to taste it and a small piece can't hurt. The truth is that it wasn't nice, I didn't eat any more of it and it did absolutely nothing for me.
I wasn't glad that I ate it, but sometimes it is a nice little reminder that the things I used to live off, aren't that bloody good. Like the 7 year old, I remembered it being something that was magical and amazing. Something that would have come out of a unicorns bottom in a shower of rainbows and stardust. Unfortunately the Turkish Delight was just a big disappointment.
A friend recently got back from an overseas holiday and gifted me some dark chocolate that she got from some coffee/cocoa plantation. It has the lowest amount of sugar for any dark chocolate I have ever seen. I decided to put it in some muffins and make choc chip muffins for the kids lunches aka me just to eat whenever I want.
They were amazing.
So amazing that the kids ate them (assholes). I stupidly threw out the packet so couldn't get a photo. It was a really bitter tasting chocolate but then it had this smooth aftertaste. I froze 12 of them and am rationing them out (to myself) one little nibble here and one little nibble there, always when the kids are in bed or in the bath… I can't risk them finding out which would then lead to me sharing. So far so good.
Today I had the horror of walking in on my husband watching some documentary about the way our foods are made. My husband is a vegan and he pushes and hints that we should all be on this journey with him. So when I walked into the room at the part of how animals are treated in the cycle of how that piece of meat gets to my dinner table, I nearly vomitted in my mouth and then sat in the corner rocking from the traumatised feeling of knowing what was seen, can never be unseen. So cruel and sad. So many emotions versus it tasting so nice.
I was a vegan myself a long time ago. I was in high school and came home one day and was playing with the dog out in the yard. It bought over what I thought was a stick for me to throw. No, it was a pigs leg and trotter that Dad had got from the butcher. I was outraged and disgusted and went on a meat strike. This lasted quite some time until Mum bought home kfc and it smelt so bloody good… vegan phase over.
These days, I would eat meat twice a week at most, but that is only because it doesn't appeal to me. I do eat a lot of chicken but after todays little documentary viewing, maybe not anymore.
I guess going down this path is like the quitting sugar thing. Hard at first, but then you would get used to it. How would I survive our family roast night?? So much to think about!
I really never thought I would quit sugar or fructose to be honest. I only thought it would be a fad diet and if I got 8 weeks out of it, then I could say I did it. I guess thats why I am so passionate about this lifestyle, because it doesn't seem like a traditional diet. You never feel like your body is wanting what it can't have. You just get to a point where your body is like "That looks nice, but hey, so do 99.9% of those lady boys in Thailand, but you just don't need to go there…."
On that note. Happy Sunday.
I will blog again soon, have a hilarious Valentines Day story and a Sugar Free Drunken adventure to share!!