She came over for afternoon tea with her kidlets and bought some bakery goodies for us to share. The 7 year old smelt them coming before they even got to the door.. Im pretty sure I saw him raise his nose to the air, sniff and say "thats a Brumbys Bee-Sting approximately 7m away.)
I had no problem at all with her bringing a Bee-Sting over for afternoon tea, I had my own baked goodies of Apple Custard Cake and some Peanut Butter Fudge Slice waiting to be eaten. The problem only lied in the fact my kids were like "hmm does today end in a Y… yes, yes it does… therefore it must be a special occasion and we can eat this bee sting treat". Umm No.
So now there was the awkwardness of me saying to the kids, "no you guys have your own stuff to eat" and her saying "they can eat it, its fine" and the 7 year old saying "don't be so rude mum, she wants us to eat it" and the 1 year old saying in perhaps latin" let me eat it, or I will eat your soul".
After a minute of me saying no, my friend was like. Its ok we can take it home and enjoy what you guys have, it looks delicious. The 7 year old was not buying into this and thought this would be a terrible idea.
Her kids couldn't get a rats bottom because all they wanted to do was go and play tiggy in our yard and roll in the grass that my husband so lovingly looks after, that would put a golf course to shame.
Eventually the 7 year old gave up, maybe it was because I threatened him with not coming away with us on holidays or maybe it was the stink eye and gritted teeth face that I was lovingly projecting at him.
So the kids went off to play, the 1 year old went off to make another voodoo doll of me, to add to her collection for taking away her precious baked goodies.
My friend and I caught up and eventually the conversation led to my blog. I forget that I put stuff out there for others to read, obviously I know that I am doing this, but when someone starts talking about something that has happened to me that I have written about, I'm always thinking "how the fruc did they know that… was that them outside my window last night…
My friend said, "you know why people are giving you grief over the whole sugar thing don't you?"
Because they are a$$holes wasn't the correct answer apparently."
My friend then went on to inform me that because the whole concept of sugar is in the media so much right now and in our faces, to those people like her, who haven't jumped on the bandwagon, it can make them feel like they are not doing the best thing by their families.
When someone like me comes along and is obviously trying to have a go at the whole quitting sugar thing, it makes these people feel insecure and that I am judging them for not quitting sugar.
HOLD UP… Me judging them?? Not once have I ever given a thought to what other people were eating. I am too busy worrying about them judging me!
I was really hoping this was not about the bee-sting cake…
She told me that its just a coping mechanism to draw criticism on the person, to make them feel a little better about themselves and for their choice to continue having sugar.
We talked about this a little more and I told her that I struggle with the notion that I make people feel insecure but the more I thought about it, the more I realised that I probably do, not intentionally. Hell No! Because the honest truth is that I don't care how other people choose to live their lives. I have been the friend feeding their kid a chocolate pre quitting sugar, surrounded by mothers at mothers group saying they won't give their child any junk food until they are old enough to actually know what it is. In that moment I felt like a bit of a shit mum but I got over it pretty quick.
I told her that I don't know how to act then around other people, because I know I don't push my lifestyle in their faces or even draw comparisons to what they are doing and what I am doing. She said that I don't need to, because we are all our own worst enemies and people do that for themselves (amen sister)
The funny thing is, I spend most my time worrying that I am going to offend people by saying "No" we can't have that, like the Beesting cake. My friend told me that she felt bad for bringing it over and here I am saying that I feel bad for not eating it. Where the hell do you go from there??
The thing is that I started this journey with the goal of lasting 8 weeks. No more and no less. This blog was devised to keep me accountable for 8 whole weeks. About 4 weeks in (after I was fully detoxed) I realised that this was not a gimic or a fad diet, this was a lifestyle.
Obviously the kids didn't get a say in this becoming our way of living but here we are and here we will stay.
I don't walk around with a shirt saying "Worlds best mum because my kids don't eat sugar" (only because I haven't had one made yet). The truth is, my kids do have sugar every now and then. No matter how hard I try to make them as fructose free as myself, I just can't do it! These kids have dramatically and I mean dramatically decreased their fructose but they are not choosing to do it for themselves, so that Worlds Best mum title is not yet mine.. although Worlds best Dancer when Drunk def is….
I told my friend that maybe I need to make sure I'm not coming across as standoffish or judgmental ( this will be hard for someone who has been told by her husband, that they constantly have resting bitch face or Chihuahau about to rip your heart out face) What can I say to that really. So if I have insulted you by this way of living "Im sorry". Except to that lady at the park that day… "Im not sorry to you, you are a gigantic turd".
To those just beginning this journey or to those smashing it out on a daily basis, be proud of what you are doing for your family! Be prepared to be judged and be prepared for someone to maybe try and glass you in a park for not letting your kids eat the candy they are handing out to them. Most of all, just be aware that this lifestyle is not for everyone and that this will make some people feel the need to defend themselves, even when you couldn't care less about whether or not they are quitting sugar. They obviously do.
I never really thought about it from this angle, all I saw was every second person wanting to lecture me or get into some type of debate over this lifestyle.
Now to go work on getting rid of my resting bitch face….