I clinked on the notification and it told me I had a message from a man, whose name I couldn't pronounce even if I wanted too. For this story, lets just call him "Bruce"…
Bruce was looking for a sugar mumma and had been told, that I was the person to help find him one. He even went as far as saying that he hopes to find someone who will pay him for his company, no age limit required, the richer the better….
No worries Bruce, I'm sure there are millions of women out there wanting to send you their hard earned cash….
Every day I delete about 20 males from my Facebook page, because for some reason and maybe it is a problem with the translation, they think that "Sugar Free The Big Mum" equates to a Sugar Mumma"… As quickly as I delete these guys, there are more replacing them. They obviously have never read my blog, because that would be the first step in identifying that I am not some Madam that runs a Fructose Free Brothel..
I typed a message back to Bruce telling him that I have a killer recipe for a Nutella Pudding not to mention an awesome recipe for some cinnamon scrolls and even some tips about giving up sugar but unfortunately I am all out of rich old women who would want to pay him for his company. Then I left it till he had seen it and deleted him…..
Lets not even forget how last week my husband was looking at photos on my phone and a message came up from another male friend, who once again I can't pronounce his name, therefore for this story, we will call him " Frank". Frank sent me a message saying, " I need you to love now, i miss my sugar".
You know when your completely innocent and your trying to tell someone that it's not what it seems and that it's really just another nigerian person looking for a sugar mumma, even though their profile picture is of some sexy six packed white athlete/model that he obviously downloaded from google pics, but you can't stop smiling and laughing and your husband is like "seriously, what the hell is this"… and you still can't stop laughing and this makes it seem like your full of shit.. well that was me…
From clicking on his profile it was obvious that old Frank was looking for a sugar mumma, since every other group he had liked on his page consisted of Sugar Mummas from all over the world. I must have been the Australian one by the looks of it.
When I first started getting all these requests and comments, I didn't even know what a Sugar Mumma was…. Apparently it is a woman who basically takes care of a guy financially in return for their company and other things that make me want to vomit in my mouth a little.
I have no idea if these people think that I'm a Sugar Mumma looking to spend my hard earned cash on some ungrateful little turd, or if I am running a site where I find people Sugar Mummas?? Either way I'm letting Australia down in the Sugar Mumma Olympics by the sound.
I will however provide these lovely males with some cool recipes like this one:
INTENSE CHOCOLATE FUDGE BROWNIES
- 190 gm butter
- 3/4 cup (75 gm) cocoa powder (use dutch process if you like intense dark chocolate)
- 1 cup (200 gm) dextrose
- 3 eggs lightly beaten
- 1 tsp vanilla
- 1/2 cup almond flour/meal (you could use plain/all purpose wheat flour here if gluten free etc is not a concern)
- 1 1/4 cups walnuts or pecans chopped
- Melt butter. Add cocoa powder and mix till smooth. Stir in dextrose.
- Lightly beat eggs, add vanilla. Whisk
- Add egg mixture to cocoa mixture. Stir.
- Add almond flour. Stir. Add nuts, and fold into batter.
- Line a 21 x 21 cm (8 x 8 inch) pan with baking/parchment paper, and pour batter into the prepared pan. Smooth the top with a spoon or spatula.
- Bake at 160C (320F) for 25 - 35 minutes (or till the top bounces back when touched gently, you want to err on the side of underdone if you want them fudgy), turning half way through baking. Once the pan is in the oven, it is safe to clean out the mixing bowl and lick the spatula.
- Cool on a wire rack. Trim hard edges off. Cut into serving size squares, and dust the tops with dextrose. Serve with dollop cream (ice cream or whipped cream would be good too).
Maybe I should write down the bottom, "serve them with a side of $100 notes to make them Sugar Mumma Compliant…"
For the record, I AM NOT, NOR HAVE I EVER BEEN A SUGAR MUMMA….Just a big mumma… Like a 105kg one...
Enjoy the weekend and seriously try this Nutella Pudding or jump on those Intense Chocolate Fudge brownies as they are both AMAZEBALLS!