The email read that she had struggled with her weight her whole life and this was her last shot at the whole weight loss thing. If she couldn't lose weight from quitting sugar, she was giving up altogether!! (No pressure)
Well actually a lot of pressure… I wrote back telling her that I was honoured she thought I could help her reach her goals but I don't think I am the best one for the job, if this was the be all and end all of her journey. Even though I spend pretty much the majority of my life at the drs with sick kids, that does not make me qualified to give advice to someone who sounds like they really need help. Nor am I a nutritionist, just someone who seems to learn from making mistakes.
I told her I would be happy to help her as much as I can, but maybe she would be better looking at one of the sugar gurus like David Gillespie and starting with the real professionals and using me as a support crew.
I fully believe that knowledge is power and I gave her a long list of websites and books that I found beneficial. I really believe if you start to understand the foundation of the whole quitting sugar thing, then it sets you up for the long haul.
She replied back that she had been following my journey for quite some time now and felt that she could relate to my lifestyle and my stories seemed pretty similar to hers. She didn’t want to know the ins and outs, she just wanted the results.
I could completely understand where she was coming from because I have spent enough money on diet programs and meal supplements that I probably could have went to Thailand and got a whole new body for half the price. I didn't care about the science behind it, just the number on the scales.
We corresponded back and forth for a couple of days and the more I read, the more I thought that there was something a little bit deeper then just a bad diet. There was such sadness and so little self worth in her stories, that it made me depressed just reading it.
We all have stories that make us who we are. We all have good days and bad days which shape our attitudes and our belief system. Some days I want to go hard and other days I want to give up and eat Nutella out of the jar and binge eat until I spew.
I won’t lie and say that I am the golden child of healthy eating or being sugar free. I wish I was, but i’m not. When my husband is home I am seriously on point 110 percent because I hate being judged. I know that if he sees me eating something I shouldn’t be, then he will totally call me out on it. This will lead to some epic argument because I already feel guilty and even though he thinks he is supporting my diet, his comments make me want to punch him in the d*ck.
When the husband is away at work, thats when things really get hard. Its my willpower versus my stomach and my stomach is a very worthy component. When its just me and the kids, the only person I am accountable to is myself. These are the days where it is much harder to stay on track because lets be honest wrangling kids is hard work, going to work is hard work and trying to look like you are being an awesome mum to those watching from the outside is bloody hard work. When all your energies are consumed with looking like you are succeeding in being an adult and a super mum, other things seem to slip. Case point: Your diet.
Without sounding like I have it all together (I don't). What I have going for me, is that mentally I am strong. I know that I can do whatever the hell I put my mind too. I know that my choices are mine to own and that ultimately I got this 100 percent. My mind is my greatest weapon. I contribute this to my Dad. Growing up, giving up was never an option. Every sport I started up, I was never the best. I was shy and hung back but my Dad pushed me to be better without the crazy sports parent attitude. He would take me to the oval and time me sprinting. What I thought was a fun game was him training me. He would encourage me endlessly. Soon enough, I was dominating the sports field and the shy girl who hung back was given the name "terrier" because I was always on the ball like some demon dog. He would say to me,"You got this". When I would say "I can't" he would say "Show me that you can" and somehow I could always find that little bit extra deep down. His motto was "the tougher it is, the better we like it" and that soon became my motto. Thats why I excelled at distance running, the harder it got, the better I got. When everyone started to slow down the pace, that was my mental push to really start going hard. For this, I am forever grateful to my Dad.
From 7 short emails with this lady, I knew that mentally she was not ok. I don’t mean this in a rude way at all, but in a way where it was obvious she needed help. Her thoughts were very dark and her self hate was extremely evident. Her stories were sad and in one word she seemed very depressed.
I asked her if she suffered anxiety and she didn’t even know what that meant. I asked her if she had ever seen a doctor about how she was feeling and she replied that there was nothing a doctor could do.
I told her that if she went and saw a doctor and talked to them about everything that she had told me, that it would be a good first step in her weight loss journey and worst case the doctor might be hot…. I wasn’t thinking she needed to be medicated, but was hoping they might refer her to someone who could help her deal with her demons. I honestly didn’t think she would go because lets face it, why the hell would she listen to anything some complete random stranger says anyway.
I sent her all of the recipes I had used for my first month of quitting sugar and some links to some articles that had inspired and helped me when I first started. I hadn’t heard from her until this morning, when I received this message.
I just want to say thank you from the bottom of my heart. I went to a doctor who referred me to a specialist/therapist and in the last two weeks my life has changed. I didn’t know that I was suffering from acute anxiety and apparently Bipolar tendencies. I have started some medication which will be reviewed shortly to see if it is doing what it needs to do.
For the first time in a long time I finally feel like my mind isn’t filled with bad thoughts and I don’t feel so foggy. I haven’t started my plan you gave me yet but for the first time I feel positive that I can lose weight and that I deserve to be skinny.
Thank you for taking the time to reply to my emails and thank you for actually caring about the words that I was writing. You are the first person to actually take interest in my wellbeing and for that I am so grateful. I hope that one day in the future we can meet and I can thank you in person.
The reason I am posting this is not because I want people to go "Gees how amazing is Jess, not to mention hot and intelligent”. I am writing this because yesterday was national “R U OK Day” and this just seems so fitting. All this lady needed was for someone to acknowledge her stories and realise that she wasn’t ok and I feel so blessed and happy that I was able to help.
I am not a qualified doctor, nor am I a qualified therapist but how hard is it to actually listen to another human being and actually care about the words that come out of their mouth.
Weight loss is such an asshole of a issue. So many people (me included) define their worth around a number on a scale and when you say it out loud it is such a stupid donkey doodle thing to even care about, but that is what society has led us to believe. To be successful, loved and appreciated you have to be a certain image and I hate that this is how it should be.
Mentally you have to be strong to think that this doesn’t have to be the case. You have to have a huge amount of self worth and self love to be able to believe that a number on a scale means just that, a number. You have to radiate that worth from within and believe in it fully. You can fake it on the outside but you will always be fighting those demons on the inside.
Since starting this 12 week challenge with Griffin Personal Training, my mind has shifted from weight loss to fitness. Yes having lost weight has probably mentally helped me, as I am proud of how I am looking, but it is more my fitness goals that are making me even happier. Being able to run an absolute muck with my kids and not needing to have a rest feels so good. Being able to go for a jog with the dog and not have the dog pulling me along like a dead weight because I literally am dying feels like I am some type of super athlete. Also being able to sprint when being attacked by a stupid bastard of a magpie and get to safety, rates highly on my things to be grateful for now my fitness is returning scale.
Life feels good at the moment!!
I hope your Friday is amazing and 3 cheers for the weekend