The week was meant to be a simple one. A week filled with cooking and organisation. A week where I could claim back some of my dignity in the kitchen. A week of less stress, less things to do and the beginning of the countdown to school holidays. I don't remember ever locking in a week of the 7 year old having night terrors, thanks to his new found love for reading "Goosebump books". Oh sleep you precious son of a b... Who would have known that without you in my life, my life would become a week of takeaway, eating at my parents, losing my shit on several occasions, binging on ice-cream (the sugar kind), beating myself up over my ice-cream binge and therefore resulting in a day of only eating what could be referred to as nothing….
To go back to the beginning, you need to know that the 7 year old is quite the avid reader, without sounding like a boastful mother (which you know I am) my 7 year old son is reading and comprehending at someone twice his age. Therefore the books he can read and likes, aren't your average Dr Seuss, Cat in Hat sh*t. No he will read anything and everything (under our approval of course). When the goose bump faze hit schools earlier this year, no one in his grade were reading the books, so it slipped under his radar. That was until the 7 year old managed to get his hands on one that was 20 years old and belonged to my younger brother at his grandparents house. I never knew that by allowing him to read this one book, I was giving away my nights of sleep. I mean, the universe can't gift me with a nearly 2 year old who sleeps through the night, no that would be too kind. Lets punish her for a good sleeping baby by giving her an annoying 7 year old who apparently has seen the following list of things staring through his window this week
1 - A reindeer with glowing red eyes (rudolf on meth i'm presuming)
2 - A hand with black nails scratching down his window
3 - A bat with blood on its teeth
4 - A knife with eyes.
Can I please point out at this point, he has blackout curtains across his windows, so I have no idea how he can see these things glaring at him through the window.
For a whole week he has ran into my room and demanded that I sleep in his bed to protect him. As always I turn on all the lights, check out the windows, tuck him back into bed and as I go to leave, I make sure all the lights are left on. My son then makes me swear an oath that I will come back in and check on him.
Just as I fall back asleep (which never happens straight away) he is back at my bedside or screaming out to me from his room. I want to tell him to jump into bed with me, but there is two problems that this causes.
Firstly we have been down the night terror road with him a couple of years ago and once you let him in your bed, it is harder to get him out. He actually thinks your bed is now his and will not even go into his bed at night. You will go to tuck him in and find him already in your bed reading a book. The tears and tantrums to get him back in his own room were worse than the original night terror turns. Secondly, the 7 year old is the worst person to have in your bed. He grinds his teeth and basically turns into Bruce Lee on drugs. The amount of times I have received a fly kick to the face, the back, the stomach makes me wonder if he is even asleep. He also likes to crawl up on your face and sleep on top of you and lets not forget the fact he will not sleep with the covers on him….
So this last week has seen me getting as much sleep as I did, when he was a newborn. I tried being super nice and loving and understanding, I tried being an absolute b*tch and yelling at him. I tried bribing him, I tried laying with him till he goes to sleep but sneaking out requires more stealth than a ninja. The husband and I tried to google answers and were even considering getting in a security guard to stand outside his window or maybe even a zookeeper to catch the reindeer and bat but alas that will never happen. We are thinking mattress on the ground but will try and push it out another week, before we let him claim that victory...
I also decided to make my week even more shit by deciding I would argue with the husband more than usual. The husband who never bites back in an argument and is the beacon of reason in our family, was also suffering from no sleep (not sure how, since he never seems to wake up to a screaming banshee of a 7 year old who is being stared at by a drug fuelled reindeer) decided to argue back. Joyful times ahead. Add to this taking on extra responsibilities, doing favours for people, playing sport and injuring my bloody toe (tragic I know). It just all added up into a crappy week. A week that I need to stop typing about because it makes me realises what a complete D*ck I am, with all the other real problems going on in the world right now.
This no sugar thing, has seen the nearly 2 year old becoming a drug addict as well I fear. Ok dramatic yes, but seriously every time we go to the fridge and I ask her what she would like, she points at the nurofen and says "medi please mumma". I say "no, medicine is for when you are sick" so she looks me straight in the eye and says " ohh my ear sore!"…
Next thing she will be stealing prescription pads from the drs when I go to take her in for her checkups.
So now I have a nearly 2 year old who has connected the sweetest thing in the house that she can get her mittens on, is medicine".. Go sugar free lifestyle go!!
The 7 year old told me this week, that when he become an adult and has his own children he is going to let them have as much sugar as they want but they can only have 1 can of soft drink a week.
BUT this is the same child who during the week was given some lollies for a breakup party, who had one and went "Why do these lollies taste so sweet, you can't even eat these ones, cause I think they are rotten".
So as much as he is hating the cause mentally, it is actually starting to create changes without him knowing.
The nearly 2 year old found these lollies ( that were too sweet) and her veridict was that they were fine wrapper and all. Yes she is a machine!!!
This week, I vow to pull my finger out and actually make something good of the week. It is my last week of work for 2015 and I have so much bloody stuff to tie up and get finished. I am probably choosing the worst bloody week to vow to pull my finger out. Maybe I can just vow to pull my finger half out??? A quarter out???
I found a couple of recipes that I wanted to share that looked good enough to add to my list of christmas food wants
Berry and Custard Trifle
Caramel Toffee Fudge
Sticky Date-Less Pudding.
I am not even going to pretend that I will attempt to make them this week but the recipes are saved here for me to go back and conquer, when that asshole reindeer stays away and we all get some sleep.
**pictures taken from the SugarBreakup website.