Therefore I am using this blog entry to introduce myself!
Hi! My name is Jess and I am 33 years old. I am a mother of 2 sugar loving children and wife to a "flexitarian" husband. Now before you wonder if this is code for someone who sleeps nude in an oxygen tank (he may). Its actually what he refers to himself as, because he tries his hardest to be a vegetarian but is "flexible" when it comes to dining at other peoples houses and when his wife is too lazy to make a vegetarian option for dinner (ain't nobody got time for that).
Luckily for my husband he works away from home quite a bit and can eat all the plants he likes and can enjoy his vegan lifestyle.
I have a 7 year old son who I refer to as "the 7 year old". This is so in 10 years time he doesn't try to sue me for humiliating him on the internet. The 7 year old really struggled with the fructose free lifestyle at the start. He was so devastated at the thought of missing out on things and getting teased by other kids that it really got to me. I felt like I was disadvantaging him socially but focused on making him more resilient then being the victim. Fast forward to today and he chooses not to eat lollies, chocolates, ice-cream, flavoured milk and all the things kids love. In his words "it gives me a headache". He no longer gets enjoyment out of them. He does however still want soft drink and frozen coke because apparently that won't give him a headache…. go figure. I do allow him to make his own choices when he goes to a friends house or a party but I still put some restriction on him. Only 1 soft drink ever!! No matter where, no exceptions.
I am not the type of mum who sends along my sons dietary requirements.
Dear Sleepover Mum,
My son will require the following
Breakfast : Full continental only, hold the juice
Lunch : Free Range chicken sandwich on homemade sour dough bread with organic produce and home made mayonnaise. Served with a glass of sparkling water (no home brand sh*t either)
Dinner : Roast with vegetables (must be grown in own garden) no sauces and must be eaten off fine china and sterling silver cutlery.
Dessert : Fructose free, maybe truffles but only from France.
Sugar Free Mum.
To be honest the 7 year old amazes me every day. He no longer worries about what other people have and last month he was given a freddo frog from Santa at the shops and he handed back the chocolate and told Santa to give it to the poor kids. I felt so bloody proud of him, but then he added "I do like trampolines and motorbikes though" and stared intently at the sack, as if expecting Santa to exchange the chocolate for one of the items mentioned.
The only fructose the 7 year old gets in his diet is from fruit and natural fructose from milk etc and the occasional treat at a party.
Now before you think, wow that was easy converting a child to this way of life, let me introduce you to the 2 year old. Who I like to refer to as Sugar Satan. Sugar Satan had only been on the planet for just over a year when we started this journey and thus you would think would be the least addicted to sugar… WRONG. You see the problem with the 2 year old is just that, she is 2. You can't reason with her. She sees, she wants, she screams and the only way you can stop her is to call in a priest and throw a crucifix at her.
The funny thing is that her diet was the most healthiest of all of us. Breast milk then onto fruits and veges, but you would swear that I gave her a bottle of coke the moment she came into this world and pureed smarties and kinder surprises at 3 months. The problem was we gave her little treats. "Here have a smartie, have a bite of my chocolate". Heroin for babies really.
At home she is fine, she knows no better. She forgets about the outside world of sugar but go to the shops and it's like she turns into baby iron man. The little computer in her head starts saying "smarties, at 12o'clock, proceed with caution, do not initiate sneaky grab till in 2cm radius, do not make eye contact with the mother". Commence meltdown in 5,4,3,2,1…
It's insane. Every bloody isle of the shops there is something that she associates the need of wanting and it's always a bloody chocolate or a lolly pop. She is hard work. She is also the harshest critic of my cooking. She is like the Gordon Ramsey of the baby world but with less swearing. The look she gives me when I serve her my latest recipe or sugar free treat is one of disgust, how dare I serve this to her, what the f#@$%#$n h@#$@Q#% was I thinking???
I will say that she has gotten better though. Not in the wanting of things. Hell, she will throw a tantrum and curse me out in baby talk at all times, but once given the "treat" at say a b'day party, she will only have one or two instead of the whole packet. ITS A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE!
She was given an ice-cream yesterday at a birthday party and she had 2 licks and threw it on the ground and went about her business of looking for things to destroy. Everyone commented on how good it was that she didn't eat it all. I was proud, until I found her with a fistful of mixed lollies later on… So lets just say she is a work in progress.
I started this journey with pretty much the idea I would drop a couple of kgs. I initially only set myself the challenge of 8 weeks. No more and no less. By week 5 I knew this was for me. Not just because I had lost kg and felt good but because for the first time in my life, I actually felt full on a diet. That was unheard of. Who feels full when dieting. Dieting is like the glorified version of starving yourself. I would like to be able to tell people I did this for my family and our health but I would be lying. It was purely based on me wanting to look good in togs and not looking like I was hiding a flotation device around my waist. However after reading Eat Real Food and the Sweet Poison Quit Plan by David Gillespie I was shocked at what I read, but things made sense and I haven't looked back from there.
My website is raw and honest. My photos are taken on my iPhone and my plating skills are sh*t. Who really has time to make their food look gorgeous when there are 2 hungry kids fighting in the kitchen, a husband who is timing his exit from the back shed when dinner is ready… not me. That food is getting thrown on that plate at breakneck speed, at all times. Half the time I have already devoured half my meal when i think "crap I needed to take a pic of this for my blog… oh well".
I burn my food (its the ovens fault) I am impatient when it comes to things like icing (a knife will do just fine) I always try a new recipe at least once a week (unless I am feeling lazy and declare the week as takeaway and whats in the cupboard week).
I am completely honest, sometimes to my own detriment. I will not pretend things are easy when they aren't. I won't make this all about success stories when I am about to flykick the oven into the back wall. I won't say my kids love this meal when they both just sit there staring at it and after bribing them to have a mouthful, they both start crying "child abuse".
I am not affiliated with anyone or any product. I will give a shout out to websites, products and people I love. I have been approached to place adds, book links, product links on this site but don't want them to have to sway or face being sued, when I declare their recipe as "sh*t.
My weeks in the archives are way out. I need to go and fix that up!! Sometimes I blog every day, sometimes a little thing called life gets in the road and I may not blog for a week, maybe even two. However I will always answer your messages, unless you are wanting me to pimp you out to someone because you think I am a "Sugar Mumma".
There will be spelling mistakes, punctuation errors and ramblings of someone who seems to have been snorting dextrose. Have you ever tried to proof read your work with a 2 year old pulling at your leg and a 7 year old complaining that he wants to play?? I type very quickly and thanks to studying "typing" in high school, can whip out a blog entry in 20minutes. I don't use a spell check.. only because I don't know how on this website page… So bag out my grammar, spelling and punctuation, but know if you do it to my face, I will smack you in the chops with a dictionary.
This is me. I am my own worst enemy. I can be very harsh on myself. I like to make jokes at my own expense, call it self preservation. I make fun of myself before someone else does. I am not fishing trust me. I will never comment "oh I am so fat" hoping that someone will comment "oh no you aren't" That is why I had kids, to tell me how great I am… If I say something its because I probably mean it.
I hope this blog can inspire you in some way or just give you something to read when you are on the toilet and have 5 seconds in peace (please don't tell me I am the only person who uses the toilet as their personal library).
This is me and my site!!