This entry is dedicated to my husband, as tomorrow is his birthday and I can't think of a better time to celebrate the wonderful man, that is my husband. (No I'm not sucking up because it's getting close to xmas... Or am I?? *cough new wallet cough*)
My husband would probably prefer that I headbutt him in the rod and tackle over publicly declaring any affection towards him. He hates being tagged in loved up posts on Facebook because he recons if you have to declare it on a public forum then it's not real. So I like to tag him in the posts that are about killing your husband because apparently in his world that must mean I love him right.....
Where do I begin?
My husband is hands down my biggest supporter. When I first told him we were quitting sugar ( yes TOLD, not asked) casually over breakfast he was like " righto, sounds good".
You see my husband is one of those weird people, who don't eat junk food. This really comes in handy when you buy a family block of chocolate, as it means a hell of a lot more for me.
He didnt even blink an eyelid when I read to him the detox side effects of giving up sugar. Let's face it, most men would start building a bomb shelter to protect themselves from what would soon be a detoxing wife. No one messes with a sugar addict having withdrawals, especially a female one ! That's how people lose an eye or a penis.
Lucky for my husband, he had planned a camping trip with the 8 year old. This meant he didn't have to witness me roaming the streets looking for a sugar hit. He also had no phone reception, which meant he couldnt see my add selling the 2 year old for a jar of Nutella.
My husband has witnessed me slaving my absolute ass off all day in the kitchen. From 7am to 7pm, to make food that we normally got from the shops. He listened to me whinge and moan about the amount of bloody washing up I had to do and that maybe we should just hose everything down in the yard and let it dry in the sun. Apparently this was not an option ( such a bastard)
He was the one bought me a thermomix when our bank account was screaming "COMPUTER SAYS NO". Even after hearing me say we can't justify that amount of money on an appliance, which lets face it, I never say as I'm not that good with money. Yet he still bought it for me to make my life easier. Thanks to him we became members of the thermomix cult.
My husband was the one patting me on the back when the weight started falling off and he was also the one patting me on the back when I spewed my absolute ring up after drinking a bottle of vodka because vodka is sugar free. Note to self vodka is no longer my friend ever!
My husband was also the one pointing out every slip up and man I hated him for it. Nothing makes you want to fly kick a person more, then them making you feel guilty. Especially when you have already mentally given yourself the third degree. Self hate plus and innocent comment from your husband never ends well. Man did I lose it every time he would say "should you be having that..."
My husband was also the one alerting me to the fact that I was putting on a little weight when I started losing motivation with the whole sugar free thing. He did this by dropping hints like " your skin feels tight". Seriously, what am I a frigin latex balloon about to burst. Then he would say things to me mid binge like " do you want to go for a run, I'll watch the kids" "DO I LOOK LIKE I WANT TO RUN WHILE IM IN THE MIDDLE OF A DONUT BINGE".
My husband was also the one giving up his time that he would normally be exercising, so I could go to bootcamp. He cooked dinners, packed lunches and cleaned the house, all so I could get up at 4am to exercise. He constantly praised me every single day and would say how it inspired him to see me so motivated. He cooked me healthy meals and treats and made sure the family never ate anything that would be too tempting.
My husband has always been my biggest supporter on this journey and for that, I am forever grateful.
As you can see my husband is a complete and utter A$$HOLE ( that's code for the love of my life to which I feel so blessed to be able to say he is mine)
Happy Birthday for tomorrow, you loveable turd you!!