My face when he walked in with it was a mixture of shock and a hyena snarl. To be honest, I probably would have been less shocked if he walked in with a bag of cocaine and some illegal fireworks.
What the hell was he doing bringing ice-cream and ice magic into my house? Didn't I make him sign a contract in blood that he wouldn't bring tempting foods within a 5km radius of his wife?? Obviously I didn't, but I bloody should have
When realising that he might be about to wear the ice-cream and ice magic, he just smiled and said "sorry". I think I heard him whisper "not sorry" straight after, like the teeny boppy demon he was becoming.
My husband is one of those lucky people who have never struggled with their weight at all. In fact he struggles with putting on weight and he wishes he was bigger... And the whole universe sighs in sadness because how horrible it would be, to want to put on weight.
Me on the other hand, came straight out of my mothers belly with the doctors declaring "put her on a diet stat!"
To be honest I didn't actually care that he bought ice-cream into the house, I didn't feel like it at all. I had my own bounty of sugar free cupcakes to enjoy for the next ten years of my life to get through. (see previous blog entry for more info...)
I was however worried for the two little humans of the family. The 2 year old lives for this type of stuff. There is no way in the history of the world that she would go without, if she knew her own father was partaking in the food of the devil.
The 7 year old was pretty hit and miss these days with his sweets. I never know what he is going to turn down or accept. Things that I think he would jump at, he declines and things I don't think would interest him, he seems to want to try. The logic of being a child and not doing what your parents want.
I decided then and there that I needed to make a version of ice cream that would be good enough for myself and the kids and also good enough for my husband. Even though I didn't care for his full cream plain ice-cream, if that would have been Ben and Jerrys chocolate peanut butter, than this entry would have been completely different. No doubt ending in me waking up on some street corner, wearing one high heel and being covered in ice-cream.
Because I am such a spontaneous person, not much planning goes into my ideas. I was absolutely adamant that I had to make ice-cream tonight. However there was one big problem I had to overcome.
You see I had already taken my bra off and that meant there was no possible way I was going to leave the house, it just could not happen. There is no turning back, once one decides to free the puppies.
I was either going to have to give up on my ice-cream making hopes and dreams or just make do with the ingredients I had in the house. The events that unfolded were pretty much one of those unexplained flukes of life, where things for some weird reason just seem to work out better than you could imagine.
I somehow managed to make the most amazing creamy ice cream out of 4 ingredients. This is not a lie.
1 teaspoon of vanilla essence (i have my own home made version)
500mls of thickened cream.
In my head I knew I had the base of something pretty good. This was because I had attempted to make a creamy frosting at the start of the week and it was way too fluffy and runny for my cupcakes.It did however, taste like something I would pay money to eat.
I blitzed the egg, vanilla essence and dextrose together for about 20 seconds and then scraped down the side of the bowl.
I then added the 500mls of cream and butterfly whisked it for about 2minutes. This was when it started to stiffen and wouldn't fall off the spoon. Once again delicious and amazing.
I told the 7 year old to come try it and then had to ground him and send him to his room for some made up reason, so he wouldn't eat it all.
I then placed it in a thermo-server and set it in the freezer. After about 2 hours I came back and it was so light and fluffy and tasted like high end ice-cream. You know the expensive ones you see on the shelf that you can't justify spending $10 on. It wasn't set through but it was exactly like the soft bits around the edges you try and eat with your spoon from the container. A-BLOODY-MAZING!!
The next day it had hardened, but not to the point where it had water crystals or any of the nastys you can sometimes get. We left it out for about 5min and it was once again soft delicious bliss.
I gave some to my husband and he was impressed. I gave some to my parents and a visiting friend and they too were blown away by what I had given them. They were also surprised I had made this myself and and that it was able to be eaten by someone trying to be fructose free.
You literally must try this recipe!!!
And to think I was going to kick my husband in the baby maker for bringing ice-cream into my house. If it wasn't for him being a selfish turd then I wouldn't have this recipe to share.
Heres to my husband being a turd.!!