LIST OF LAME EXCUSES
"my husband won't eat it if it doesn't have sugar"
'my kids won't eat it if it doesn't have sugar"
"I can't possibly make this recipe by substituting out ingredients"
"I seriously wish I could do what you do but its too hard"
"We just aren't used to it"
I don't know how many times I have to listen to people say that there is no way they could even attempt this lifestyle. For the love of all things sugar, I was where you are!!! If I can bloody do it, then anyone can.
I told them I was going to write a blog entry about this and they all laughed. Everyone loved the idea of having a cookout at my house and the vodka really was the icing on the cake. They just weren't sold on the fact that it had to be compliant with my lifestyle and in doing this, their families may not eat it. I totally can see where they are coming from and I felt like an absolute d*ck suggesting we plan meals around one family out of the six. However I fully believed everyone would love the food, if they gave it a chance. By the end of our conversations everyone was in, but I could tell it was a "don't want to hurt her feelings" in. I don't do pity, which is why I have been busting my ring in the kitchen today.
I asked my friends to tell me what they would cook if it was up to them and I would attempt to cook that same dish but in a way that its compliant to my lifestyle. They absolutely loved the idea. However it's times like today that I wish I was a good cook because no doubt, what should taste like liquid gold will taste like liquid donkey diarreah.
My husband likes to comment that my cooking skills have come a bloody long way from when we first started dating. I am not ashamed to say that the first time I cooked dinner for him, I presented him with some chicken snitzels (from Woolies) coated with salsa dip and wait for it... some cheese on top, melted in the oven. Because I run such a high standard show, I even served it with some oven baked wedges and a good squirt of tomato sauce. So bloody classy and by god I thought I was amazing. My husband thought it was some type of joke... until I served it to him the next 4 times I cooked for him. My skills also extended to fish fingers and chips and I did a mad stirfry.
In my defence my mum and dad had cooked for me till I was 22. I didn't need to learn how to cook when I had two of the best cooks in existence plating up for me every night. When I decided that I needed to actually start learning to cook something that didn't have melted cheese on the top, I actually wasn't that bad when I had a recipe to follow.
My husband is hands down still the Masterchef of the family, but I can now say I give him a run for his money when I'm not burning the ass out of everything from the stupid a$$hole of an oven.
So here I am launching mission "FRUCTOSE FREE FOR THE WIN" in an attempt to prove that things can taste just as good or even better without sugar. So please light a candle tonight and send off a lantern in support of my cause.
On the menu
That mixing tomato and bbq sauce in the mix is the only way to give it that amazing taste.
That by adding a little bit of rice malt syrup or dextrose I can create the sweet taste that the bbq sauce brings and by adding some spices I can make it even better.
Choc Chip Cookies
Dark chocolate is apparently the devil and no one will eat it with this ingredient
That by using 80% dark chocolate and grinding it up with dextrose and some coco powder, I can hide the bitterness of the the dark chocolate.
Coconut Ice or Fudge
Will taste like rubbish without sugar
I can create the same sweetness using rice malt syrup but it will be even better because it won't be overly sweet that you get sick like the sugar version.
I have made an awesome fudge recipe that I have taken to birthday parties and it goes just as quick as the sugar laden one. Rice Malt Syrup again for the win
Chicken, tomato, bacon and Basil Pasta Dish (passed down through generations)
They will know if anything is changed and it won't be eaten apparently.
Yes, I agree that Nanna's fav pasta dish will be a hard feat to replicate but where honey is added I can substitute for Rice Malt Syrup and just stick to everything else. Yes the tomato does add fructose but I will use real tomatoes and skip the paste.
Kids will only ever eat PAULS brand so good luck and may christ be with me
My kids love the thermomix version. For those who are fussy, I would substitute the sugar with RMS over dextrose because dextrose can at times give it a unique taste. It will all come down to the vanilla essence and luckily I have made my own!!!
Can't be done, apparently they have had it using stevia and it was disgusting.
I can make it using butter and sour cream, coco instead of chocolate and of course dextrose. These will be amazing!
Now I pretty much have made all of these, except for the chocolate mud cakes. However the pressure is on because to us they taste amazing, but our tastebuds have changed quite a bit and I'm not sure how the taste testing part will go, due to what is sweet to me, might not be so sweet to them.
I also forgot to mention that if I do succeed in winning their hearts... they have to cook ME a months supply of meals and lunch box treats of my choice, whilst I drink vodka and dance around to 80/90's music watching them.
The stakes are high!
Back to the kitchen I go!!
Happy Sunday xxx