Thank you for sending someone out to fix our internet line.. Thank you for that person refusing to come inside and check that it was definitely fixed, because he was sure he had solved the problem with the error in the line he found. Thank you for not fixing anything. Thank you for charging me $104 extra on my bill for extra data usage on my phone, as the internet never works at home.
Please find a bag of donkey doodles and consume them as a gesture of my appreciation for your assistance.
What a bloody hectic week this week has been. If there was ever a time for me to consume SUGAR it was going to be this week. I love my job, like really really love what I do, but this year I have been put in a new role and this means I can't use previous years resources to help me or adapt what I already have. This also equates to a lot of time spent out of work hours. I am also one of those people who like to know that I have done my very best and then some. This doesn't help when there never seems to be enough hours in the day, especially when you also try and have that work/family balance. For the record my family have suffered this week in that regard. Enough so that my husband took great pleasure in telling me this (thanks for that...) Now when I use the word suffer, I don't mean that I had them all locked and bound in cages with tape covering their mouths (ok I may have thought about it once or twice) it just means that when I am in work mode, my ears close. Like literally you could be right next to me, telling me that a male waterbuffalo is about to make me his wife and I will just nod my head and say yep... Pretty sure the 6 year old thinks I am taking him to Disneyland, buying him a motorbike and getting him a Spiderman tattoo with all the things I agreed to that were just noises coming out of his mouth. I can't help it though, I just get in the zone and there is no returning.
I honestly don't know how I made it through the week without it ending in me rolling in a pile of sugar to be honest. Thursday and Friday I didn't eat anything until 4pm. Not even breakfast. Thursday I had planned on breaky but the baby couldn't go to daycare, so I spent my morning taking care of that. I am so lucky that I have my parents here to help out, because there is no way I would even have a job right now, with the amount of sick leave I would have taken this year ( F U Daycare and your germs). I skipped lunch at work because I was so bloody busy and it wasn't until 4pm that my stomach decided to protest really loudly, to the point I swear people though I was blatantly dropping my guts in front of them with the noises my stomach was making... awkward. My brain decided to jump in around that time and demand that I walk my ass over to the Fundraising Chocolate box and grab something to tie me over. I'm not going to lie, I did have a look in there but just couldn't bring myself to do it. I still had to run around town grabbing a few items for Friday's deadline, so I decided to grab some Red Rooster Chips to tie me over. Yes, I know they aren't exactly nutritious, yes I know they are full of bad oils, and yes it probably would have been quicker by the time I sat in the drive thru to grab something from home. However they sufficed (and yes they were delicious). Friday was just as bad. It was deadline day and I knew I wouldn't be eating, as I would be on the run all day. Finally at 4:30pm I could relax and I decided to take the 6 year old with me to celebrate (for the record he can hold his water quite well). I had my soda water with lime and he had his ice cold water. He toasted having his mum back and not the satanic demon who screamed at him for moving her paperwork that was on the dining room table so he could make room to eat his dinner (what the hell was he thinking, using the table to eat off.....) I arrived home to my husband already onto his third scotch celebrating not having a wife that answers his questions with " I have to bloody do it by myself all the time, just do it, its not that hard!! (For the record it is hard having to wrangle a 1 year old that likes to do her daily nudie run when you are trying to get her in the bath and the 6 year old is cheering her on. It is hard, having to cook and serve dinner for the 1 year old who is so fussy that even she doesn't know what she likes . Then try having the 6 year old eat 3 bites, say he is full and then demand more food 30 min later. It is also hard trying to get everyone to bed early but them both wanting you at the same time all the time... BUT I won't let my husband know that....) Pretty sure I even saw the 1 year old raising her bottle to toast having a mum who puts the Wiggles on so they can dance and have fun, not using the Wiggles as a babysitter whilst she works at the computer.
I also developed a case of the Thermomix guilts this week. Surely I am not the only one who has purchased one of these appliances from God, that we will one day use to ride back to him through the pearly gates of heaven (thats the cults philosophy isn't it?) and feel as though they must use it daily to get the value. Lets be honest, the only thing that got a workout in the kitchen this week was the good old faithful sandwich maker. Good one Thermomix!! Cant even toast a bloody sandwich! I made sure that every time I walked past the Thermomix I turned it on and weighed something, just so I felt like I was getting my monies worth..... my soul 4 gms, my dignity 12.
I also decided to use Saturday to cook my little heart out and then wash up because we all know thats my most favourite thing to do in the world. My husband asked why I would spend my day off cooking ( I think that was code for there is folding and ironing to be done). I told him its because I love cooking so much that I want to spend my days off doing this.. We both looked at each other and laughed and laughed and then he told me to stop laughing because I was wasting valuable time that could be used making him protein balls (he actually told me to go and have a sleep.. he is a good husband this one).
I also realised on Saturday how much I don't enjoy cooking. Like some people tell me they find it relaxing and soothing, I find it annoying, messy and another way to showcase how shit I am at following instructions. Sometimes I surprise myself by pulling out something amazing and then other times when I stuff up something as simple as icing, not once but three times, I want to give myself an upper cut. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate cooking but I just don't love it. So much effort for something that will literally end up in the toilet bowl.
I try and follow the instructions, but I always seem to ignore or just totally miss things like "Add butter once cooled, or don't let the gelatine set before adding. Oh thats why it didn't work out...
Speaking of gelatine, I decided to make a raspberry cheesecake for a work colleagues birthday. I really like this lady and wanted to make something special and fructose free. I found the perfect recipe and got to work. I followed the instructions really well, except for the part where it said don't let the gelatine set completely before adding. I did and the result was chewy bits of jelly like stuff throughout the cheesecake. I forgot to warn everyone about it and it wasn't until I saw a colleague with her piece of cake with the gelatine sitting on the side that I made the comment to her. She told me she thought it was a rubber seal from the mixer... BEST CAKE MAKER EVER!!!!!
But thats NOT the worst part!! No it gets worse! Way worse!! Just before I was to leave to work with the cake, I decided that I wanted to take a photo of it for the blog. I put it down on the coffee table and took my picture feeling very proud of how amazing it looked. I then went back into the kitchen to get the container to transport it in. In that time the 1 year old saw her chance and took a huge chunk out of the cake with her grubby dirty mittens. I nearly died!! I had no time to get another one. All I could do was cut out that piece and try and wipe over the finger prints on the side. I was so embarrassed bringing a cake in that had a huge chunk missing, knowing everyone would be thinking "what a scummy b*tch she is, couldn't even bring in a whole cake, just some left overs from her dessert." I tried to plate it up nicely but you could still see 3 little finger drag marks on the side. I felt humiliated. So not only did it have rubbery chewy gelatine pieces in it, but it also looked like I had decided to have a piece before work.. with my hands.
I showed the birthday girl what it looked like pre 1 year old destruction and I will definitely make another one to take in this week, that will not have chewy gelatine pieces or missing chunks!!
I also decided Wednesday, that I was going to master the chocolate milkshake for the 6 year old. I had the day off work because the 1 year old was unable to go to daycare and the 6 year old was home with a cough and limited sleep from the 1 year old keeping everyone awake. I thought I was onto a winner. Crushed ice, milk, cream, cacao powder, dextrose all blended to perfection. I tasted it and was sure the 6 year old would crown me Mother of the Year instantly. I made two large glasses (600ml total) and presented it to the 6 year old excitedly. He took a sip and went, "too chocolately". I had about 100mls left in the jug, so I added more milk and cream, whizzed it up and tasted it knowing he had to love this one. Nope he hates the cacao powder its too bitter. So here I was with 3 milkshakes in front of me. I drank mine, then an hour later drank his.. Than an hour and a half after that I had to play oztag.. needless to say I wanted to spew and knew that if I did, it was going to look absolutely rank.. I made it through my game luckily, but have sworn off chocolate milkshakes for good.
The 6 year old also decided this week that instead of having a birthday party, he would like the money we were going to spend, put towards an electric scooter. This makes me happy (phew no party planning ) but I know what he's like, if he changes his mind next week, it is cutting it a little fine to organise a party. I was actually getting excited about serving the guests fructose free treats. You have no idea how much research I have done trying to perfect the menu! I even decided I was going to go whole hog and do his cake fructose free. I will still make him a cake to share with the family, although it wont look anything like his cake I made last year... A treasure chest filled with a bounty of lollies and chocolates!
I also whipped up a pumpkin soup in the thermy yesterday to have in the fridge so I can have it a no fuss lunch, afternoon snack or dinner. The recipe asked for a carrot, now I have never in my life added a carrot to pumpkin soup but decided the Thermomix knows whats best... well it doesn't and my pumpkin soup does not taste no where near as nice as my reliable old stovetop recipe. Its not inedible but its just awkward. Without a carrot, the soup feels like it is giving you a comforting hug, WITH the carrot it is like when you go to hug someone but they kind of pull away and you just have this lean in pat thing going.. its just not right.
I also got my weekly meal plan etc for the IQS 8 week challenge. No new recipes as yet, that I haven't already gotten from her books or the net but I'm hopeful! Its refreshing reading the forum because its all the same things I went through and I feel their pain. I also noticed that I went pretty hardcore the way I did it. Completely cold turkey from all things tempting straight away and I haven't looked back since. Apparently going cold turkey isn't the way to go but I think its all about your mindset. I know what works for me and little treats here and there to wean myself off would have caused a binge! Thats just me though.
Im now off to enjoy the evening with my loves and make up for being a turd of a mother this past week.
I will announce the winner of my facebook Like and Share comp tonight.